Impact

I braced myself for impact, knowing I couldn’t stop.  Time seemed to stand still for a moment as I saw the young girl look at me and realize that something bad was about to happen.  As my van started to crash into her car, I remember thinking, ‘this cannot be happening’.  When the van came to a stop, my first thought went to the other driver.  Was she okay?  How badly was she hurt?

I was driving to get one of my sons from school when the young girl pulled in front of me.  She was pulling out of a parking lot, trying to make a left hand turn.  She didn’t see me.  I found out later that some other drivers in the other lane had indicated to her that she could go, that the road was clear.  It wasn’t.  She had trusted.

Thankfully, we were both okay.  We walked away with bumps, bruises, and minor burns from the air bags, but we walked.  And God provided two gracious men who saw the accident, checked on us, called 911, and stayed until emergency crews arrived.

I held it together long enough to call my other son to tell him about the accident and have him get his brother at school.  And I called my husband to let him know what had happened.

I was pretty proud of myself for not falling apart.  I was able to speak calmly to the fire men and police officers who arrived at the scene.  I gave them the information they needed and recounted the events all without crying.  But then EMS arrived.  The kind lady came over to me to see if I needed any medical attention.  I told her no.  She said that was fine, but I needed to go with her to fill out some paperwork.  I answered her questions, and she once again, asked if I was okay.  That’s when I could feel the emotions rise.  I told her, “I feel a big cry coming on.”  She smiled and told me that was very normal after a traumatic event.

A traumatic event.

It was traumatic.  I drive a big van and the girl was in a small compact car.   I know it could have been so much worse.  It was unexpected and jarring.  It was painful.  It was unnerving.  And although she was at fault, I was the one who hit her, a young girl who was now terribly shaken up.

A traumatic event.

I knew that I needed to hold it together for a little while, though.  I knew there would be questions to be answered and tasks to be done.  And my kids to tell.  I knew that they would be worried about me and concerned about what would need to be done, particularly with my husband being out of town.  So I held it together.  We got the van towed, a car rented, dinner eaten, and homework done.  But I could feel that big cry looming.

As I lay in bed that night, I reflected on the day.  It had started out so normal, but then…

A traumatic event.

It took me by surprise.  It caused me to evaluate.  It reminded me of what’s truly important.  It gave me perspective.  It made me thankful.  It made me grateful for other people.  It made me cry…a big, snot dripping, ugly cry.