My younger kids and I have been touring colleges lately. It’s been fun to watch them get more excited about going off to school next year and the new possibilities to come!
It’s made me think about how we got to this point.
I remember the younger years. The years where the days seemed long, tiring, and endless. The years where I sometimes wondered if we’d all make it out alive.
During that time, I had a woman who told me to enjoy those preschool years because they are so wonderful. I told her that clearly she hadn’t had preschoolers in her house in quite some time! Quite frankly, she’s lucky I didnt slap her!
It’s not that I wasn’t enjoying my children, I was, but I felt like I was drowning in diapers, laundry, and expectations. I had put a lot of pressure on myself to not only be the best mom I could be, but to strive for perfection. See, I started to believe a lie that I had heard from so many well meaning people…God had chosen me because I was just the person to handle the challenge; after all , He wouldn’t give me more than I could handle.
So why did I feel so overwhelmed? So unprepared? So tired? So alone?
Because I started trying to parent on my own. I wanted to show God and those around me that God had chosen well. That I was the woman for the job. Really, I was just an average woman given an incredible gift, not because I earned it or had shown awesome potential, but because it was part of God’s plan.
I wonder what God’s expression was when I finally cried out to Him saying I couldn’t do this and I needed some help. I would have had that, well I could have told you that, look on my face! But I like to picture Him smiling at me with love in His eyes.
I think that was part of His plan all along; me turning to Him, asking for help, and then relying on His direction. It’s not that parenting became easy and that there weren’t challenges. Remember, five kids in twenty-one months…. But I knew I wasn’t alone and had never been.
So now, so many years later and these fabulous kids will soon join their older sister venturing out into the world. It’s hard to believe it’s already time. As I look at them, I see the faithfulness of God. I see His grace and mercy. I see His provision and guidance. I see His glory and am overwhelmed again!