That moment when you realize you are that family…..
You know them… They seem to fly by the seat of their pants. They’re the ones who run ten minutes behind; sneaking into meetings and events trying not to be noticed. But they are. They’re the ones who bring store bought goodies and try to pass them off as homemade. They’re the ones who miss parent teacher conferences because they put the notice somewhere they won’t forget, but somehow do. They’re the ones saying sorry a lot for turning in parent signed forms late and only after the teacher called several times. They’re the ones whose house has piles of stuff on various counters, shoes mounded in the corner, and crumbs on the floor.
The signs were all there, but the reality hit hard several nights ago at an awards ceremony for one of my sons. After a hectic afternoon of appointments and errands, we headed to the ceremony. We showed up just as they were about to begin and realized that all of us were very underdressed for the occasion. We found our way to some seats in the back hoping no one would really notice. But of course, that’s not how it went. My son made his way to his spot next to other kids who were dressed in their Sunday best while he was wearing the same jeans and t-shirt he wore to school. As we took our seats we began to chuckle knowing that we had somehow missed some important information. That’s when my daughter said, ‘We are that family.’
As I thought about that statement in the days to follow, I was surprised by the sense of freedom I felt. For years, I tried not to be that family. Even with a lot of small children, I tried to make it to places on time, dressed appropriately with homemade baked goods in hand. I thought that was the goal of being a good mom. After all, that’s what everyone else seemed to be trying to achieve. There were a lot of days that I failed, but I knew that just meant I needed to try harder and plan smarter. There came a day when I realized that not only could I not keep it together, but I was tired of trying to live up to some standard that was unattainable. I was making myself and my kids crazy. So I decided to give myself some grace and some room to be messy.
I try to keep the piles and clutter under control so that we don’t end up on Hoarders, but I don’t obsess over them. I try to make sure that we are dressed appropriately for any event we go to, but know that sometimes just being dressed is a big accomplishment! I also try to bring homemade baked goods when asked because I like to bake, but I feel no shame when I need to use store bought goods instead. I try to be on time for appointments and events because it’s important to me, but I don’t panic or come undone when I’m late.
I’m learning to let go of the shame and negative thoughts when I fall short. I’m learning to apologize and ask for grace, accepting it when given. I’m learning to laugh when things don’t go the way I had hoped or planned, realizing that life is messy. And in the process, I find I give more grace and mercy to all those other families just trying to make it through the day.
So yes, we are that family. We’re doing the best that we can. Sometimes we hit the mark and sometimes we fall short. I’m just glad we’re doing it together…
