{"id":753,"date":"2017-07-12T18:05:11","date_gmt":"2017-07-12T23:05:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/?p=753"},"modified":"2017-07-12T18:05:11","modified_gmt":"2017-07-12T23:05:11","slug":"im-not-fine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/?p=753","title":{"rendered":"I’m Not Fine"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m not fine.<\/p>\n

I’m not okay.<\/p>\n

I’m struggling.<\/p>\n

I need some help.<\/p>\n

Those words are difficult to say.\u00a0 They are difficult for me to admit.\u00a0 But they are true.<\/p>\n

I come from a family of strong Germans.\u00a0 You pull yourself up by the bootstraps kind of people.\u00a0 In my immediate family, it was made known that no matter what was happening at home, when you walk out the door, you smile and tell everyone you’re fine.<\/p>\n

For years I did just that,\u00a0often times\u00a0through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw.\u00a0 I did it until I just couldn’t do it anymore.\u00a0 I didn’t have the strength.<\/p>\n

I was not fine.<\/p>\n

I was not okay.<\/p>\n

I was struggling.<\/p>\n

I needed help.<\/p>\n

So I went to therapy.\u00a0 It was one of the best decisions I ever made.\u00a0 God used her, and that time to bring healing to the broken places in my heart and mind.\u00a0 And\u00a0God began to show me the beauty He would bring from those ashes.\u00a0 I was forever changed.<\/p>\n

Fast forward thirty years and I find myself needing help again.\u00a0 To be honest, right here is where I want to list all of the reasons\u00a0to legitimize\u00a0my brokenness, but I’m not.\u00a0\u00a0 I’m learning I\u00a0don’t\u00a0have to justify my need for help,\u00a0I just have to\u00a0acknowledge it.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

In light of my brokenness, I’ve been seeking help.\u00a0 God has once again graciously provided a therapist and loved ones who love, support, and encourage me.\u00a0 I’m so very thankful.<\/p>\n

So why share this?\u00a0 I could just keep this part of my life private and no one but a few would know.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0To be honest, that’s what I wanted to do.\u00a0 I wanted to keep this under wrap; let as few people know as possible.\u00a0\u00a0But why?\u00a0 If I think therapy is so helpful, why would I care if others know?<\/p>\n

The stigma<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Even people who would advocate therapy for others are sometimes reluctant to seek it for themselves.\u00a0Only the weak go to therapy. Only crazy\u00a0people go to therapy.\u00a0\u00a0Only those who aren’t relying on God enough go to therapy.<\/p>\n

And along with the stigma comes the shame.\u00a0\u00a0I am flawed.\u00a0 I am weak.\u00a0 I should be able to handle this.\u00a0 I don’t have enough faith.<\/p>\n

I don’t want to feed that kind of thinking.\u00a0 I want to\u00a0be a part of breaking the stigma.<\/p>\n

Bottom line,\u00a0we live in a fallen world full of sin which means there is pain, death, trial, change,\u00a0difficulty, and brokenness.\u00a0 God knew we would\u00a0need help so\u00a0He sent Jesus.\u00a0 He also sends therapists.\u00a0\u00a0I’m seeing a great one now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m not fine. I’m not okay. I’m struggling. I need some help. Those words are difficult to say.\u00a0 They are difficult for me to admit.\u00a0 But they are true. I come from a family of strong Germans.\u00a0 You pull yourself … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":765,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[40,41],"class_list":["post-753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-brokenness","tag-therapy"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/praying-sunset-woman-prays-her-knees-60765383.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=753"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/753\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":768,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/753\/revisions\/768"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/765"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}