{"id":669,"date":"2017-04-04T17:41:28","date_gmt":"2017-04-04T22:41:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/?p=669"},"modified":"2017-04-04T17:41:28","modified_gmt":"2017-04-04T22:41:28","slug":"the-freedom-of-acceptance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/?p=669","title":{"rendered":"The Freedom of Acceptance"},"content":{"rendered":"

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I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.\u00a0 Wonderful are your works… Psalm 139:14<\/em><\/h3>\n

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It’s a verse many of us have heard before.\u00a0 We post it on social media, hang it on our walls, remind our friends, and repeat it in our minds.\u00a0 We may even say that we believe it to be true.\u00a0\u00a0The problem is we don’t always\u00a0like who<\/em>\u00a0we were made to be; we really want to be someone else.<\/p>\n

When my son was in the sixth grade, he became aware of his autism diagnosis.\u00a0 We didn’t ever hide it from him.\u00a0 We\u00a0talked about his autism quite openly, but he didn’t fully understand what it meant until the day he came home from school with his annual paperwork.<\/p>\n

Every year my husband and I would meet with school administrators, teachers, and therapists to discuss\u00a0my son’s status.\u00a0 We talked about\u00a0what goals he was meeting,\u00a0his strengths and weaknesses, his therapy requirements, and his future goals.\u00a0 The paperwork\u00a0he brought home was a written copy of all that had been discussed, as well as\u00a0his diagnosis of autism.\u00a0\u00a0He asked if he could read what was in the packet.\u00a0 I told him that since it was\"\"<\/a> all about him, he could.\u00a0 When he was done, he was angry.\u00a0 He began yelling, “It says I have autism.\u00a0 I DO NOT HAVE AUTISM!”\u00a0 I told him that he did; that’s why he went to therapy for all those years, that’s why he had a behavior plan at school, that’s why he was pulled out of class sometimes.\u00a0 He didn’t want to hear it.\u00a0 He didn’t want to have autism.<\/p>\n

It took several months for him to process his diagnosis.\u00a0 We spent a lot of time talking about autism and\u00a0how in manifests itself in him.\u00a0 We talked about how it didn’t make him less,\u00a0it just meant his brain worked differently.\u00a0 We reminded him a lot of the above verse.\u00a0 It was a hard thing for him to accept.\u00a0 He didn’t want to be different.\u00a0 He didn’t want to be ‘special’.\u00a0 He didn’t want to be unique.\u00a0 He wanted to be something else.<\/p>\n

Much like my son, I find it difficult to accept how God has made me.\u00a0 I know I have been fearfully and wonderfully\u00a0made by God.\u00a0 He gave me certain gifts and talents.\u00a0 Add to that the life experiences I’ve had, and you get ME.\u00a0 The problem is, I want different gifts; I want to be a different ME.\u00a0 I want the creativity I see in my friends whose Pinterest projects turn out even better than the ones online.\u00a0 I want the voice and musical gifts of my friends leading worship.\u00a0 I want the drive and energy of people who seem to do three days work in on day without breaking a sweat.\u00a0 I want the compassion of my friends who seem to always know what to say and do when they meet someone who is hurting.\u00a0 And I’d like this all wrapped up in a taller,\u00a0fitter body with a brain that learns new technology without effort.\u00a0 I don’t think that’s too much to ask.<\/p>\n

So God is teaching me to accept the way He made me. To accept not\u00a0only the gifts and talents\u00a0He\u00a0has\u00a0given me, but also my shortcoming.\u00a0\u00a0 This process is uncomfortable because I have to see myself for who I really am, not who I want to be.\u00a0 I have to accept that although I love music, I do not have the skills necessary to make it on The Voice.\u00a0 I have to accept that I s\"\"<\/a>truggle with new technology and I need someone in person to teach me, not online tutorials.\u00a0 I have to accept that I work better with outside deadlines because the ones I make for myself don’t help.\u00a0 I have to accept my tendency to procrastinate, for perfectionism, and negative self-talk.\u00a0 I have to accept these things and work with them, not wish them away.<\/p>\n

My son now\u00a0fully\u00a0acknowledges his diagnosis.\u00a0He talks about how God made him special.\u00a0 He understands that the autism affects the way his brain works and how he processes things.\u00a0 He knows that\u00a0he may do things a little differently than his siblings and that’s okay.\u00a0 He knows his strengths and\u00a0continues to learn more about his\u00a0weaknesses and how to overcome them.\u00a0 He’s learned coping skills and when to ask for help.\u00a0 He’s accepted the man God’s made him to be.<\/p>\n

I, too, am learning to\u00a0embrace who I am, weaknesses and all.\u00a0 In the process,\u00a0I’m finding freedom.\u00a0 Freedom to embrace and honor\u00a0the gifts I’ve been given.\u00a0 Freedom from lamenting the gifts I don’t have.\u00a0\u00a0Freedom to\u00a0ask for help in areas where I’m weak without feeling like a failure.\u00a0 Freedom to\u00a0celebrate the gifts and accomplishments of others.\u00a0 Freedom to be\u00a0karen and know that’s enough…<\/p>\n

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I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.\u00a0 Wonderful are your works… Psalm 139:14   It’s a verse many of us have heard before.\u00a0 We post it on social media, hang it on our walls, remind our friends, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":676,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[4,23],"class_list":["post-669","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-autism","tag-self-acceptance"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Acceptance-of-self-brings-freedom-to-celebrate-others..jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/669","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=669"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/669\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":680,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/669\/revisions\/680"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/676"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=669"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=669"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.karen-gustafson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=669"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}